Week Six – 1// The Face behind The Mask

What am I doing right now?

Who knows. This month has been all about UCAS. If some of you don’t know in the UK, we have a specific way of applying for university. It involves an online system where you select 5 choices (unless studying medicine, dentistry or veterinary science) and then UCAS, the online website, sends them to the university for you. I have had a hard hard month.

But, I realised I’ve missed blogging. I think about it every now and then and then start to write a draft and never actually finish it. But, I’m back. So here’s a little update. I’ve joined the gym. Two of my siblings had a birthday. Work Drowning is happening to me. Yep, that’s right I am drowning in work.

On the upside, I have had quite an enjoyable month, I love autumn/fall and I feel a lot happier nowadays. I don’t know if I can say the same about some of my friends. I feel like it’s easy to fake happiness. It’s easy to put a smile on your face. I think you can walk around for an entire day with fake laughs and fake happiness and no one would ever notice. It’s wonderful when you’re truly happy. Truly content with life. But, I don’t think I know many people who are.

I had an experience this week where I found one of my good friends, sat alone, crying. And, she is a person who I thought was always “happy”. That’s what I thought anyway. She cried into my arms and told me; she didn’t fall good enough. That no one ever paid any attention to her. No guys ever complimented her. She felt like she had given up socialising and making new friends at our college for studying and good grades. But she still failed. I honestly didn’t know what to say. I wish I had noticed. Sometimes, it is easy to miss when someone else is having a hard time. I am trying to get better at understand and seeing how people really feel.

She’s an actress, not a real one, but an actress at life. It’s easy to put on a mask, to hide your true feelings. When the walls break down that is when we see the true face behind the mask.

I wish that everyone experiences happiness this year, before it ends, whether it be with your family at christmas or just doing what you love. Stay happy. Stay joyful.

Peace out x

Week Five – 1 // Autumn Ramblings

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Autumn leaves are my favourite things. The colours that surround me as I walk places. Autumn seems to illuminate the beauty in the simplest things. Browns, Oranges, Reds… I absolutely love it.

But with the season of Autumn brings the season of the reflection. It’s almost the end of the year and I think what have I done and how my life has changed. What can I do in these last few months to make a difference to this year? As they would say end it with a bang.

So recently, I have joined the gym. Yeah, I never thought I would allow myself to spend £16.99 a month on exercise. It’s shocking really. As well as this, I have started my new job which I love! I get paid (quite a lot for my age I might add) for scanning pieces of paper into a computer… I can’t really complain much. Although, it is going all good and well, in the back of my mind I thoughts that sometimes creep up like; you’re going to uni soon, you need to pass your exams, you need to make it through these last few months at college, and you’re an adult in 3 months time. That big 18, is coming my way.

How do adults do it?

The closer I get to actually being responsible for everything I do. The closer I get to actually being in the real world, the more I want to stay home. To live in the safety bubble of my parents. But, realistically, that can’t be forever. A word to those young/pre-teens. Cherish your time as a child because the more you wish to be older than you are the quicker it will come.

On the upside, a lot of things have been going right in my life right now. I’ve made some decent friends at college, I can drink hot chocolate again because the season is here. Oh, and furry coats are in! As well as this, right now it is the half term at schools and colleges in the UK so I have been relaxing… ok that’s a lie, I have been revising and doing uni applications.

Ah and another thing, I got Netflix back! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, why did you ever get rid of it?!?! Well, it is pretty distracting, I’m not going to lie. I have been limiting myself to one episode a day of watching reruns of Gossip Girl (the greatest TV show on earth). Any new TV show suggests though? I might do a blog post on TV shows… I watch way too many!

To bring these literally autumn ramblings to a close, last update I’m no longer scared of dogs! More to come on that…;)

Peace out,

Accidental Aspirationalists xx