Welcome back to another blog!
I’m sorry, this is a pretty poor attempt at starting a blog I’m not going to lie. So this week, I am going to strive to blog at least 3 times! Anyways, into the blog. Today, I want to talk about 17 things I have learnt at this young old age of 17… see what I did there!
Note: All of the things below apply to ME. I am in no wise lecturing people about what is wrong or right. These are my experiences and how I have grown and learnt throughout this past year. Please respect that.
1) To Love Me.
Well, this got deep quickly. But this is really important to me, I think nowadays people compare themselves too much to others. What others look like or what others to wear or body size and stuff like that. I feel like, especially as teens, we sometimes get wrapped up in the idea that we are not good enough. We are! From this year I have learnt to be myself, to embrace who I am, what I look like and do what I love because it really doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. As long as I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming that is all that matters.
2) To Stop Letting Others Have Control Of How I Feel.
I often decided how I feel about something or someone because of another person’s opinion. I’ll start to dislike someone because of what I’ve heard about them and not really giving them a chance or getting to know them. I think that this is the worst. I feel that I used to be too quick to judge others because of their past mistakes and I have now learnt this is not the way. I would hate it if this happened to me, I am sure it does. But I need to not do it to others. If you allow other people to control how you feel about something, someone or even yourself, it creates an unhappy mindset which can lead to unhappy relationships. I have found that when I give people a chance and actually get to know them; some of them have become my best friends.
3) To Stand Alone.
This year, I started college. It has been the hardest year of my life. And for once, I’m not complaining about the work. I am not a party kind of girl. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs or smoke. Basically, in my friends’ eyes, I’m not “normal”. But, I don’t believe that having a ‘good’ time, is not remembering your ‘good’ time. The idea of being in a room surrounded by sweaty teenagers who are off their faces just does not appeal to me. So I stand alone. To begin with, it was hard. A part of me wanted to be like everybody else. I would sometimes sit in my room on a Friday night watching Snapchat stories and having a severe case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out); sad right? But, I know my standards and I know what I feel is wrong and no party is going to change that. This year, I have learnt that sometimes it is better to stand alone and be that one person who has never been to an all famous college party than to be part of the crowd and be like everybody else. I’m not saying no one should go out and have a ‘good’ time don’t get me wrong. It’s just how I feel and where I am striving to continue to stand. Alone.
4) To Know That Sometimes Change Is Good.
Ok, so this is a tough one for me. Let me give you some background. I am the type of person who once I get an idea into my head, I am very unlikely to change. For instance, I want to be a doctor. Nothing will stop me. One day, I know I will get there. Some people call this hard-headed, others determination. However, this year I have learnt that change can be good. If you had asked me at the beginning of the year, I would be heading to med school straight away and that was the only thing for me. But, I have now researched and seen that maybe it would be better if I did a degree first or took a gap year. I have more options. I think for me, that is why some change is good. It gives you more options, you have a wider perspective. It’s the good experiences which can come from good change, that I strive for.
5) To Keep Going.
Ah, this is a good one. I have wanted to give up. Not on life, it’s not that deep. But often, I say to myself why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through the stress of entrance exams? All for one career? I could easily do something vocational, couldn’t I? But I am telling myself now, to KEEP GOING. This year I have learnt that if you put your mind to something, you can achieve anything. I am a strong believer in the saying, “anything is possible”. You do not have to be the strongest or the smartest to do something that is for your benefit. For me, it is all about the journey, that is where you becoming the best person you can be. Just Keep Going.
6) To Be Selfless.
HAHAHA. If you met me in real life, you would know that I used to have a big heart but an even bigger ego. I wouldn’t say I was self-absorbed but I did do a lot for myself and would potential look at my situation before other people who were worse off than me. I am now trying harder to look after other people. What they don’t have, that I can share, I try to do. I think to be selfless means to care. It is an attribute that I think was the hardest for me to develop. I always thought that people got themselves into situations. Those people brought things upon themselves. But I think it is important to remember that things can be caused by other people. That’s why now, I try to show that I care for everyone and that you don;t know what people are going through and all you need to do is love.
7) To Trust My Instincts.
Do not be tossed by the winds of social media, my advice and speaking from experience. Trust what you have been taught or from lessons you have seen people learn. Most importantly, trust yourself. I think that we all have the innate tendency to protect ourselves, so if your body and spirit are telling you what to do, trust it do not let other people determine your choices.
8) To Never Follow.
I’ve learnt not to be a sheep. Not to follow the crowd. Don’t be a part of it. Those are the worst kind of people. That’s all I have to say really.
9) To Hold People Up, Not Push Them Down.
Everybody is special. Everybody is different. I learnt to see the good in everyone. To not pick at their faults but to cherish the good. I think this has changed my life. The more you hold people up and try to pull them up, the more people you will have to hold you up in the bad and the good.
10) To Not Let Others Change My Beliefs.
What I believe is what I believe. As you can probably tell, I don’t get persuaded easily but this year I have really tried to stay strong in what I believe to be true and what I feel is wrong.
11) To Love.
Everyone deserves love. Not the select few. But everyone. I have definitely learnt this.
12) To Gym.
I am glad I have discovered the beauty of working out. Lol. I’m weird.
13) To Forgive.
*sigh* Once you let something go, your life because better and free. Don’t hold grudges people because it just eats you up from the inside. Plus, the people you hold a grudge against more than likely won’t even notice or care. It does nothing to them after a while. I have learnt that if I just forgive people there and then, it is soooooooo much easier. Trust me.
14) To Not Assume.
This is important, you do not know what is going on in anybody else’s life. If you don’t know, don’t assume. As I said before, just be there for people. That can be all the difference that people need sometimes. And another thing, if people don’t tell you what is going on in their life, it doesn’t mean they don’t trust you. It could just be really personal. But just respect that, I have definitely learnt to just love other people and to be a friend.
15) To Surround Myself With People I Am Comfortable With.
So this is another big one which has only happened recently tbh. I have changed friendship group, although I am still friends with them, I no longer felt like a part of the group. They were doing things that just made me uncomfortable and different from them. I will always love them but I wanted to seat with people who were more like me. This is another piece of advice, if you don’t feel comfortable with people, no matter how much you like them, do not change yourself just to fit in. I know that I will always love my old group and obviously, we still say hi and I am still friends with them but I just feel more comfortable with others. That’s all really.
16) To Not Gossip.
Urgh, this is the one I am still working on. I have a big mouth and most of the time it isn’t on purpose. No matter how good you are, someone will come along and tell you that juicy piece of drama or gossip about someone else and you can’t help yourself but listen and join in. I have learnt this year, this is wrong and it hurts others and it gets you in situations that are better off avoided. Gossip is so bad in my opinion because if it is meant to hurt other people when you talk about them, put yourself in their shoes. I am still working on this and it is one of my weaknesses but I am trying!!
17) To Trust God.
You’ve probably got from this that I’m religious. So if you’re not religious, insert someone else or something. I just feel that there are things in my life that I need someone to help with who aren’t my friends or my family. For me, that is my God. I know that if things aren’t going the way I want them. Someone else is looking out for me.
Okkkkkkkk, so this was a long one, but I hope you guys enjoyed the 17 things I have learnt. I hope you don’t think I am some perfect person because I am still trying all of these. I can genuinely say that some of them have shaped me to be a lot wiser and mature. From the beginning of the year till now, I have learnt so much and had so many experiences that have taught me lifelong lessons and I am so grateful that I have had every single one of them. I’ll be back with another blog soon.
Accidental Aspirationalists xx