THE SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE: Why College was the worst 2 years of my life.

Hiya guys and welcome back to another blog post and another post in the school survival guide series.

As you can tell by the title, I am extremely dramatic.

You can also tell by the title that I hated college. In fact, hated is an understatement, I loathed college. I still loathe college. But before I get into the why of my hatred, let me just explain what college is in the UK.

I think I’ve explained this before so this will be brief. Basically, students in college or 6th form are between the ages of 16-18 usually. It is before university and is now compulsory in the UK (however not compulsory to do A Levels).

I think A-Levels are possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. They caused me nothing but stress and heartache for 2 years. FOR 2 FLIPPING YEARS.

But, let’s start at the beginning…

Pre-college me was a happy sweet child, I’d just finished GCSE’s, did quite well, was feeling quite confident and was like A-Levels bring it on, bite me (that was so cringy and I seriously apologise).

September comes, after a nice long summer, I was relaxed and then started college.

This is where I made my first mistake.

I decided that I wanted to make new friends and be cool and all that jazz… MISTAKE #1. 

I spent so much time trying to get to know people and just talk to people and put myself out there, that I forgot what was important. AKA, A-LEVELS.

This is a tip for you guys who are starting college or anything else that is a short critical time period, prioritise your work, please. Don’t use free periods for just chatting in the canteen (guilty), don’t leave your work till the night before (guilty), and just be yourself (also… guilty – I’m a naturally chatty person).

Anyways, the first year of college passes by… I did ok. It’s probably because I sweated at the last moment that I got the grades, I did.

Second-year comes around.

The work just increases 100x. 

I’m not even lying to you. I was working all day every day on college work for 11 months straight. No joke. Bearing in mind, I had to go over everything from the first year because I didn’t understand the majority of it. It was a stressful year. Holidays – I don’t think so. Breaks – what are they. I don’t know how I got through the year without breaking down to be perfectly honest with you.

This is when mistake two happened, my revision was not as effective for the first three months of “revising”, which meant that I wasted a lot of time and effort “learning” things that did not stay in my brain at all… MISTAKE 2#.

On the upside, the year went quickly. Kind of. I remember telling myself, oh don’t worry you have 9 months till your exams. 6 days later. First exams tomorrow (It literally felt like that…)

Now I’m in the long wait period. I’m waiting for results day. I’m literally just praying to God that my work this year paid off.

However, so far this post has been pretty negative. So here’s a bit of positive advice:

  1. do make friends – don’t misunderstand me, it is not a problem to talk to new people and make new friends, just make sure you have your priorities straight. don’t do what I did and just spend all your time trying to make new friends and no time studying. it’s all about balance.
  2. take breaks – cannot stress enough, when studying you need to have some downtime and enjoy yourself. put your own physical and mental health first.
  3. work hard, play hard – put your education first, but when it’s time to relax… relax hard people.

Overall, I guess my college experience wasn’t as awful as I made it sound (it was pretty awful though), but I definitely wouldn’t do it again. That is for sure.

Comment below any college experiences, or school experiences that you have absolutely hated!

And have a good week!

Peace out,

Love Anita x

p.s. goodluck to all those getting results this summer!!

Follow my socials: instagram | pinterest | twitter

VERY LAST MINUTE REVISION TIPS: SCHOOL EDITION

Welcome back to another blog post!

First off, I’d like toapologise for not writing a blog post in a while… but after reading this you will probably realise why…

So, today marks 7 weeks until my first exam. My first real, determining the rest of my life, actually exam. I have been revising for a while now, but would I really be a student if I didn’t have the niggle of doubt in my mind that I haven’t done enough?

Anyhow, I thought I would give you today some of my best tips (that do work might I add…) that will save you in the exam room.

REVISION TIP #1 – LITTLE AND OFTEN!

If you haven’t started revising now for GCSE’s, A LEVEL’s or any other exam you have this summer, this may not be the tip for you… but if you have been revising and looking at past papers since the day you were born, I would say it is time to plan and sit back to see what you need to do. Solidify that knowledge girl! Start looking over little sections you have done every day. I find this useful because it allows my mind to focus and look at the things I have already done. Also, it stops me from getting too stressed. FACT: the mind can only take in things 20 mins at a time. So a 20 min revision session is good, take a break, then come back to it. This is the most effective way of revising.

REVISION TIP #2 – LET IT ALL OUT! 

BLURT! BLURT! BLURT! This is another one of my favourite revision techniques. If you know me, you’ll know that I love to talk. When revising, I like to say things out loud and recite facts to myself because, for some reason, it stays in my brain. lol. Repeating things, allows those facts to move into your long-term memory so you can recall them in the exam room. Also, teaching other people what you know, (even if it’s just your mum!) can help solidify your own knowledge.

REVISION TIP #3 – EAT, DRINK, SLEEP, REPEAT

For me, I cannot miss an hour of my sleep. Not only will I be too tired but I won’t be able to concentrate at all. Sleep is a lot more important than people think in my opinion. Alongside sleep, comes food. I stress eat too much! Comment below if you suffer from this also. However, try and eat healthily… I’m not going to comment on this too much because I struggle to practice what I preach in this aspect. Lastly, drink water! I try and counterbalance the junk I eat with drinking loads of water, but I find it helps me focus and deals with the banging headaches I get when I am stressed.

REVISION TIP #4 – CHILLAX

If you are feeling really stressed and overwhelmed, it is likely that you are burnt out and overworked. My tip would be, just RELAX! Go for a jog, watch some Netflix, just take yourself away from revision and do what you enjoy. More often than not, this will help you become calm and come back to revision with a fresh mindset. 

That’s all for now! Comment below any more revision tips you may have to share! I could do with some newones… I hope everything is going well for you guys.

Peace out, Accidental Aspirationalists

Love Anita x

Follow my socials: instagram | pinterest | twitter

489487076076736443

Is University Worth It?

Hi guys, hope you’re all having a good week and welcome back to another blog post.

Judging from the title, you probably know what I am going to ramble on about today, so grab a seat and a drink and enjoy.

As many of you will know, I am in my last year of A Levels (aged 17-18) and I am supposed to be heading off to the unknown world of university. Attending university has always been in the works for me, for as long as I remember. I don’t know if this is because both of my parents attended or if it is because I cannot see myself in a profession that does not require higher education. Either way, I know I am going to university. So, this September is my due date to enter the system. It truly is a system, you enter, you drown in debt (or so I’ve heard) and then you enter the ‘real’ world – the world of money, debt and desperately looking for a job. Is it worth it?

Many students, myself included, are convinced that it is. That starting your adult life, often, on the minimum living wage in £50,000+ debt is the best way. For the greater good. In my eyes, it is slowly becoming the lesser evil.  As much as I don’t want to be stuck in a retail job or in a 9-5 job for the rest of my life, is it worth going to university where I have to take out a loan of about £15,000 per year just so I can be in the job I want?

On top of that, when I finally start to earn the salary I need to pay back my student loan, interest is added. Yes, that’s right, I have to pay interest on top of my £50,000 debt. The ‘real’ world is a cruel place, my friends.

Sometimes I do not feel that the generation before understand that I will literally not survive with £3000 loan if I go to London or how worrying it is to know that you may be in debt to the system for the rest of your life. I’ll give some perspective – the average accommodation price in London is £160 per week. In the Uni year, there are about 40 weeks so approximately, £6400 on accommodation, in addition to my actual tuition fees (£9,250). Bam! One year in, I’m £15,000 down at the end of year one of uni.  Whilst thinking about how I am going to afford this, I am expected to pass my A Levels and get into medical school. I do not want to sound like I am complaining because I know that I am blessed to live in a country with a system that allows me, especially being a black woman, to gain an education. I am truly grateful to God for this.

But, my question is, is it worth it? Can I not find something else that is just as fulfilling and beneficial to other people as medicine but does not require me to graduate in debt? These are the questions that have flooded my mind over the past few days. It saddens me to say that I am scared for my future. I am honestly scared about what the future will be like for me and my generation. Comment below if you have been or are starting uni and what you feel about it. 

Peace out Accidental Aspirationalists.

Love Anita x

Follow my socials: instagram | pinterest | twitter

489487076076736443

 

A few of my February Favourites…

Hi guys! Welcome back to another blog post! So, today I am going to tell you all about my favourite things that I have tried out this month – including makeup, skincare etc. Let’s get into the blog!

Favourite #1: Rimmel London Match Perfection Foundation in the Shade 504 Deep Mocha or 503 Mocha.

I absolutely love this foundation! It is my go-to, everyday foundation. It feels light and moisturising on my skin and doesn’t even feel like I am wearing foundation half the time. And for the price of £8.29, I’m not complaining ladies…

Favourite #2: Morphe Palette 35R – Ready Set Gold

I acquired this palette recently and it is my first morphe palette. It is absolutely insane and definitely underrated. The pigmentation of the eyeshadows has completely changed my life. If you are looking for a palette that has those golds, coppers and browns; you need to buy this. All morphe palettes are priced at around £23.00, however, I got mine when it was in the sale.

 

Favourite #3: Simple Kind to Skin Moisturising Face Wash

As you know, I love the skincare brand – Simple. I think it is so soft on the skin. I purchased this to add to my collection of skincare products. It is a daily face wash, which is quite nice and I prefer this to a Nivea product I was using which was very heavy on my skin. Plus, it is quite cheap at around £2.00 for Superdrug.

Favourite #4: Tuc Original Snack Crackers

Urgh, I cannot speak enough about these crackers. These have become my ‘healthy’ alternative to biscuits. I am trying to eat more healthily and snack less… so obviously getting snack crackers was a good idea (go, Anita, *insert eye roll*). But these, although they are quite basic, there’s just something about them that I am in love with this month. Also, they are fairly cheap, mine where 50p from Asda. But I think there normal retail price is about £1.00.

tuc_crackers_on_plate_with_packing_2012

Favourite #5: Witch Naturally Clear Blemish Stick

This has to be my ultimate favourite. I’m going to be honest, I want perfect skin. But doesn’t everyone! My skin isn’t awful and I don’t suffer from ache. But I do have scars in some places and the occasional painful spot appears. This product has changed my life. I’m not even exaggerating. My skin has cleared up so so so much. Below is the change that has happened to my skin. It doesn’t look like much, but if you look closely on the first image you can see that I had quite a few pimples on my forehead but in the second picture it has cleared quite a lot. I don’t even have to wear foundation most days! It is also so affordable – only a £1 for Poundland or £2.69 at Superdrug. I cannot recommend this enough, if you are suffering from bad skin or just want to look a bit clearer.

 

Favourite #6: The Greatest Showman!!

Ok, this is another big favourite of mine. If you have not watched it… what are you doing! Please go watch it now! It was amazing. I have been listening to the soundtrack for weeks. I want to join a circus or at least learn how to act so I can be Zendaya… Hugh Jackman gave me all the feels, I laughed, I cried, I sang. Ugh, I loved this movie so much (if you can’t already tell). Literally, this is definitely a big favourite of mine this month.

61tbmgs4ayl-_ss500

These are 5 favourites for the end of Feb. I hope you all are enjoying the year so far. Today, in England, we are suffering from the beast from the East (I love this name) and also from Storm Emma. College and Schools have been cancelled all over the UK. I think everything we have a tiny bit of snow, the UK goes into a panic. It’s hilarious. Wherever, in the world you are, stay safe and stay warm!

Peace out,

Accidental Aspirationalist x

Follow my socials: instagram | pinterest | twitter

489487076076736443

the state of the world

“I am a strong believer in the fact that there is someone out there for all of us and we just haven’t found them yet.”

Good morning, Good evening, Good afternoon. It’s February. The second month of the year and it’s already ending. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day or as I like to call it Galentine’s Day. I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve never “celebrated” valentine’s day if celebrating is the right word. But, I’m not some religious hater of the day because I’m single every year. In fact, I quite enjoy it. I think the way that people show love to those they really care about, whether it be partners, spouses or even just friends is beautiful. It is really beautiful.

The day before Valentine’s, I was at work. One of my colleagues was telling me that this is the first valentine’s day she would be spending alone in six years. I felt for her. I felt for her because I think when you are in a relationship for so long and have celebrated your love on that day for six years and then all of a sudden it’s gone. It will definitely be hard. However, the social construct that love has to be shown to a partner on one day in the year is so wrong. I don’t think people who are single have to feel like they are alone. I am a strong believer in the fact that there is someone out there for all of us and we just haven’t found them yet. Yep, I am a hopeless romantic.

So, yesterday, I spent the day with one of my best friends. Who I would do anything for, and no it wasn’t an “I hate couples” day, or “we’re strong independent women and don’t believe in valentine’s day”. It was more of an “I’m spending the day with someone I love”. I hope that you all managed to spend time with those you love, even if it was just you. Love yourself.

On another sad note, the world is a forsaken mess.

The Florida school shootings hit real with me. It is heartbreaking to think that families are in agony and pain on one of the most romantic, loving days of the year. To think that there are people out there who could do that to people, who could freely split families apart makes me angry, sad and so frustrated. It made me realise, that we, as humans, do not do enough to protect our own. When, I was taught at school that we are the only species who freely kill our own, not for food. I realised that we need a change.

One – America needs gun laws. And it needs them now. How many shootings and killings will it take for people to understand that it is not right to allow people to just own weapons? Frankly, I don’t care what some constitution says. People are dying.

Two – Stay safe. The world is not a safe place and I don’t think it ever has or will be. Stay safe outside, stay safe online and protect your families, children, and friends.

Three – Love everyone. I believe that whether they be your enemy or your friend, we should still show love. I don’t mean love like you would to a partner or a family member even. You don’t even have to like them. But just enough ‘like’ that if you see someone in danger, you feel a duty to try and help them.

I strongly believe that the human race is not lost. I believe that there are good people out there. I think that we all just need to try that little bit harder to protect what we have been given and to protect those we love.

I hope you all have a great day, rest of the day or night.

Peace out,

Accidental Aspirationalist x

Follow my socials: instagram | pinterest | twitter

489487076076736443

LIEBSTER AWARD!

 

WOW. I’m actually in shock! So I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award by the lovely Laura, her blog is livingmylifelikeme; definitely, go and check her out! I didn’t see the comment for a while so this is a little late but enjoy!

THE RULES: 

  1. Mention and acknowledge the blog that nominated you, and displays the award logo.
  2. Answer the 11 questions that the blogger who nominated you gave you.
  3. Tell 11 facts about yourself.
  4. Nominate between 5-12 blogs.
  5. Also, make sure to notify these bloggers of their nomination.
  6. Finally, give them 11 questions to answer.

LAURA’S QUESTIONS: 

  • What is your favourite childhood memory?
    • My favourite childhood memory is probably when I would spend the summer holidays in England, with my older brother and all we would do is play different board games and watch movies. Literally, all summer. I think these are some of my best memories because he’s away at university at the moment so I don’t get to see him as often. Also, we were best friends then.

Board game

  • If you could go anywhere in the world for a week, where would you go?
    • This is an easy one, hands down, Thailand! Seems a bit basic, but if you look into it then you’ll understand. The culture, the people, urgh I would live there for the rest of my life if I could. Thailand is stunning and I definitely going to make a plan to spend a month there, at least.

 

  • When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
    • I have examples, but here’s one that sticks out to me. We were watching Cars (the movie) and I don’t know if any of you have seen it, but there is a part where they go tractor tipping and the tractors act like cows, start tipping and fall over. It doesn’t sound hilarious but at the time it was so funny and my sister was laughing so hard she started to wet herself (yeah grim…) and that just set me off! I laughed so hard, I cried… If you haven’t watched it, here’s a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm77JG6d99Mhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm77JG6d99M  
  • What is your favourite period in history?
    • I’m not much of a historian but probably the time of Shakespeare, so the 1500s. Just because, I’ve read some of his works and possibly because Romeo and Juliet the movie has Leonardo DiCaprio and he’s my one true love so… I’m not mad.

 

 

  • If you could time travel, would you go back to the past, or forward to the future?
    • Definitely the future. I’m a big believer in living the past in the past. In real life, you cannot undo anything which is why we should always look forward. No matter what is going wrong at the moment, I strongly believe the future will always be better. PLUS, the future is going to be pretty cool, I mean although the world may end and we may run out of fuel, I think we’re going to figure out so many cool, new inventions and if I travelled to the future, I’d get a sneak preview 😉

Related image

  • What is your favourite thing about blogging?
    • Being able to express feelings and passions in a good way. I think so many people think that writing online is a bad thing and so often people do use the internet and social media to promote bad things. I dislike that. I think blogging is a way that I am able to spread a positive influence but also to give people an insight into my life because obviously, I’m sooooo interesting (please note: my second language is sarcasm). Blogging is a way to meet people and also to learn about different cultures and different environments, it’s just interesting.

Image result for blogging

  • Who was the last person you said ‘I love you’ to?
    • Probably my mum… let’s be real, I’m single as. But truly, I do love my mum, she is an amazing person! She gave birth to me also so I can’t really complain…

Image result for love

  • What was the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
    • This wasn’t really a weird dream but more of a weird coincidence. So, I play the flute and when I was in Year 8 (13-14), I was doing my grade 3 on the flute. I literally love playing the flute, so I was stressing about it for days. One night, I had a dream about my exam and it went so well, and I got my exam results and got a distinction!! (This is the highest of the highest). Anyway, the next day, I had my flute exam and I told my mum about the dream and literally, I’m not kidding you my exam went exactly as my dream… yep! you guessed it, I got my exam results in the post and I got a distinction!! That was one of the weirdest experiences ever, but I was so so happy!

Image result for flute exam

  • How do you keep occupied on rainy days?
    • Like a normal person, I watch Netflix… is there anything else to do? I’m a netflixaholic, literally, you name it, I’ve watched it. 🙂

Image result for netflix

  • If you could be anything or anyone for one day, who or what would you be?
    • I’m gonna do two things: first, if I was anything, I would be a bird. Not just any bird, one that flies away on holiday in the winter. Because of free travel, why else?…and also I think it would be so cool to be able to see everything from above and I think they have a long lifespan… correct me if I’m wrong. And second, if I was anyone else, I would be the President of the United States, not Donald Trump, just another President because I just feel a need to help fix that country. No offence Americans, you just need gun laws. Urgently.

 

 

  • In a world without internet or phones, what would you invent to communicate?
    • Telepathy. Come on, what else? I would invent like a device or a chip which you could put on your body (preferably not inside your body) and this would connect to your central nervous system and send information to your brain so that you can receive and send messages instantly. On the other hand, we could just use our mouths, those are wonderful things as well…

telepathygrids

Hope you enjoyed that, a little weird insight into my brain, ok so next step… 11 facts about me.

11 FACTS: 

  1. I love superheroes like love is probably an understatement. Literally. Love Love Love.
  2. I’m half-Nigerian and half-Barbadian.
  3. I live for food, lol that’s really sad, but I literally love cooking, eating, the whole works…
  4. I put on a full face of makeup, just because it’s fun. Oh, and highlighter is my favourite thing to use. I have way way way too much.
  5. I am 17 turning 18 at the end of Jan.
  6. I am an Instagram fanatic, I love taking photos and editing and posting.
  7. I want to be a doctor one day, so I am studying A Levels at the moment, which is why I go on a month-long break every now and then, lol, I’m trying not to let that happen too much anymore.
  8. I am probably the most indecisive person, you will ever meet, I literally can’t stick with one blog name… more coming on that soon.
  9. I am one of 4.
  10. I am v v honest, slightly too honest. Which also leads to me being v v opinionated.
  11. I am a Latter-day Saint, Mormon, whatever you wanna call us (please note: we are Christians, it is a religion…) – lol more on that soon as well. www.mormon.org

And…

NOMINATIONS: 

  1. The Dreamgirl Writes 
  2. Chloe Lauren at Diary of a Lonely Girl
  3. Najida at Life As Najida
  4. Loreile Joy at Myself and Teas
  5. Reema at Urban Like Me
  6. Megan Roylee 
  7. Tina at Thinapieee
  8. Nicolle at Stories of a Highly Sensitive Introvert
  9. Charlie in the universe

Please note: I decided to look through at a load of new blogs because I wanted to discover new people to nominate; so some people I’ve been following for a while and some I just started following today, but I hope you all enjoy this award.

Lastly…

11 QUESTIONS: 

  1. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be and why?
  2. What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?
  3. Who is your greatest inspiration?
  4. What would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
  5. What is one thing you desperately want to accomplish in life?
  6. If you could have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
  7. What was the last lie you told?
  8. If you had to be one age for the rest of your life, what age would it be?
  9. What cheers you up on a bad day?
  10. What is your go to movie of all time?
  11. Who is the one person you turn to for everything and why?

 

Thank you for reading, I’m so grateful to be able to have this opportunity, it was very fun. I hope you all enjoyed learning a bit more about me and my blog. I hope you all are having a good holiday and Christmas (if you celebrate). More fun things are coming for everyone in the new year!

 

Peace out, Accidental Aspirationalists xx

Week Six – 1// The Face behind The Mask

What am I doing right now?

Who knows. This month has been all about UCAS. If some of you don’t know in the UK, we have a specific way of applying for university. It involves an online system where you select 5 choices (unless studying medicine, dentistry or veterinary science) and then UCAS, the online website, sends them to the university for you. I have had a hard hard month.

But, I realised I’ve missed blogging. I think about it every now and then and then start to write a draft and never actually finish it. But, I’m back. So here’s a little update. I’ve joined the gym. Two of my siblings had a birthday. Work Drowning is happening to me. Yep, that’s right I am drowning in work.

On the upside, I have had quite an enjoyable month, I love autumn/fall and I feel a lot happier nowadays. I don’t know if I can say the same about some of my friends. I feel like it’s easy to fake happiness. It’s easy to put a smile on your face. I think you can walk around for an entire day with fake laughs and fake happiness and no one would ever notice. It’s wonderful when you’re truly happy. Truly content with life. But, I don’t think I know many people who are.

I had an experience this week where I found one of my good friends, sat alone, crying. And, she is a person who I thought was always “happy”. That’s what I thought anyway. She cried into my arms and told me; she didn’t fall good enough. That no one ever paid any attention to her. No guys ever complimented her. She felt like she had given up socialising and making new friends at our college for studying and good grades. But she still failed. I honestly didn’t know what to say. I wish I had noticed. Sometimes, it is easy to miss when someone else is having a hard time. I am trying to get better at understand and seeing how people really feel.

She’s an actress, not a real one, but an actress at life. It’s easy to put on a mask, to hide your true feelings. When the walls break down that is when we see the true face behind the mask.

I wish that everyone experiences happiness this year, before it ends, whether it be with your family at christmas or just doing what you love. Stay happy. Stay joyful.

Peace out x

Week Four – 1// The School Survival Guide: Toxic Relationships…

Welcome back!

SO, I want to talk about something that is so prevalent in every teen’s life. Toxic relationships. Whether that be friendships or dating life. Toxic relationships are out there people and they are hard to avoid.

First off I’m going to start by pointing out the signs of a toxic relationship, that is how you can tell you are in one, I’m going to share some experiences and then move on to how you deal with a toxic relationship.

How to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship: 

1. If they do not have your best interests in mind – What this means is, if a friend doesn’t care what happens to you or doesn’t try to get what is best for you. This is TOXIC. Say bye to that person.

2. If you do not feel comfortable around them – a friend who doesn’t make the effort to include you or make you feel welcome is not a friend.

3. If they make you feel insecure about yourself – this is the worse. Insecurity can be brought about by judgements, comparisons etc if this is happening to you from a relationship. This is toxic!

There are many more things that can be seen in a toxic relationship but I can summarise them by saying, if you do not feel good in a relationship, it is more than likely toxic and I would advise you to GET OUT! 

At school / high school, it is so easy to get into them, and not realise because “there is more good than bad” or “it’s not that bad”. But, I am telling you, it does not help you to stay with that person because it is bad for not only your time at school but for your mental and physical health.

Everyone has and will go through it, toxic relationships I’m afraid are inevitable (unless you avoid the social hierarchy entirely). As soon as you learn to recognise them, you can get out of them before you get hurt.

I am not immune. In fact, right now I would say I was in a few toxic friendships. It is hard to recognise them and walk away, especially if you have been friends for years. People change. I have realised over time, that although the relationship may not have been toxic in the beginning, it certainly is now. Sometimes, you have to make that choice between letting go and being happy or staying in that relationship for the sake of years of friendship. At this point in my life, I try and put myself first because I know that in the long run, it is my life. I advise you to do the same.

Comment down below how you deal with toxic relationships! Feel free to email me for more advice (even though it’s probably pretty useless!)

Look after yourselves,

Peace out, accidental aspirationalists xx

Week Three – 1// 17 things I learnt at the age of 17

Welcome back to another blog!

I’m sorry, this is a pretty poor attempt at starting a blog I’m not going to lie. So this week, I am going to strive to blog at least 3 times! Anyways, into the blog. Today, I want to talk about 17 things I have learnt at this young old age of 17… see what I did there!

Note: All of the things below apply to ME. I am in no wise lecturing people about what is wrong or right. These are my experiences and how I have grown and learnt throughout this past year. Please respect that.

1) To Love Me.

Well, this got deep quickly. But this is really important to me, I think nowadays people compare themselves too much to others. What others look like or what others to wear or body size and stuff like that. I feel like, especially as teens, we sometimes get wrapped up in the idea that we are not good enough. We are! From this year I have learnt to be myself, to embrace who I am, what I look like and do what I love because it really doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. As long as I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming that is all that matters.

2) To Stop Letting Others Have Control Of How I Feel.

I often decided how I feel about something or someone because of another person’s opinion. I’ll start to dislike someone because of what I’ve heard about them and not really giving them a chance or getting to know them. I think that this is the worst. I feel that I used to be too quick to judge others because of their past mistakes and I have now learnt this is not the way. I would hate it if this happened to me, I am sure it does. But I need to not do it to others. If you allow other people to control how you feel about something, someone or even yourself, it creates an unhappy mindset which can lead to unhappy relationships. I have found that when I give people a chance and actually get to know them; some of them have become my best friends.

3) To Stand Alone.

This year, I started college. It has been the hardest year of my life. And for once, I’m not complaining about the work. I am not a party kind of girl. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs or smoke. Basically, in my friends’ eyes, I’m not “normal”. But, I don’t believe that having a ‘good’ time, is not remembering your ‘good’ time. The idea of being in a room surrounded by sweaty teenagers who are off their faces just does not appeal to me. So I stand alone. To begin with, it was hard. A part of me wanted to be like everybody else. I would sometimes sit in my room on a Friday night watching Snapchat stories and having a severe case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out); sad right? But, I know my standards and I know what I feel is wrong and no party is going to change that. This year, I have learnt that sometimes it is better to stand alone and be that one person who has never been to an all famous college party than to be part of the crowd and be like everybody else. I’m not saying no one should go out and have a ‘good’ time don’t get me wrong. It’s just how I feel and where I am striving to continue to stand. Alone.

cc7f7fed6d2f262f85fd0d9ef4cfb5a4--fear-of-missing-out-the-fear

4) To Know That Sometimes Change Is Good.

Ok, so this is a tough one for me. Let me give you some background. I am the type of person who once I get an idea into my head, I am very unlikely to change. For instance, I want to be a doctor. Nothing will stop me. One day, I know I will get there. Some people call this hard-headed, others determination. However, this year I have learnt that change can be good. If you had asked me at the beginning of the year, I would be heading to med school straight away and that was the only thing for me. But, I have now researched and seen that maybe it would be better if I did a degree first or took a gap year. I have more options. I think for me, that is why some change is good. It gives you more options, you have a wider perspective. It’s the good experiences which can come from good change, that I strive for.

5) To Keep Going.

Ah, this is a good one. I have wanted to give up. Not on life, it’s not that deep. But often, I say to myself why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through the stress of entrance exams? All for one career? I could easily do something vocational, couldn’t I? But I am telling myself now, to KEEP GOING. This year I have learnt that if you put your mind to something, you can achieve anything. I am a strong believer in the saying, “anything is possible”. You do not have to be the strongest or the smartest to do something that is for your benefit. For me, it is all about the journey, that is where you becoming the best person you can be. Just Keep Going.

6) To Be Selfless.

HAHAHA. If you met me in real life, you would know that I used to have a big heart but an even bigger ego. I wouldn’t say I was self-absorbed but I did do a lot for myself and would potential look at my situation before other people who were worse off than me. I am now trying harder to look after other people. What they don’t have, that I can share, I try to do. I think to be selfless means to care. It is an attribute that I think was the hardest for me to develop. I always thought that people got themselves into situations. Those people brought things upon themselves. But I think it is important to remember that things can be caused by other people. That’s why now, I try to show that I care for everyone and that you don;t know what people are going through and all you need to do is love.

selfless

7) To Trust My Instincts.

Do not be tossed by the winds of social media, my advice and speaking from experience. Trust what you have been taught or from lessons you have seen people learn. Most importantly, trust yourself. I think that we all have the innate tendency to protect ourselves, so if your body and spirit are telling you what to do, trust it do not let other people determine your choices.

8) To Never Follow.

I’ve learnt not to be a sheep. Not to follow the crowd. Don’t be a part of it. Those are the worst kind of people. That’s all I have to say really.

9) To Hold People Up, Not Push Them Down.

Everybody is special. Everybody is different. I learnt to see the good in everyone. To not pick at their faults but to cherish the good. I think this has changed my life. The more you hold people up and try to pull them up, the more people you will have to hold you up in the bad and the good.

10) To Not Let Others Change My Beliefs.

What I believe is what I believe. As you can probably tell, I don’t get persuaded easily but this year I have really tried to stay strong in what I believe to be true and what I feel is wrong.

11) To Love.

Everyone deserves love. Not the select few. But everyone. I have definitely learnt this.

12) To Gym.

I am glad I have discovered the beauty of working out. Lol. I’m weird.

13) To Forgive.

*sigh* Once you let something go, your life because better and free. Don’t hold grudges people because it just eats you up from the inside. Plus, the people you hold a grudge against more than likely won’t even notice or care. It does nothing to them after a while. I have learnt that if I just forgive people there and then, it is soooooooo much easier. Trust me.

forgive

14) To Not Assume.

This is important, you do not know what is going on in anybody else’s life. If you don’t know, don’t assume. As I said before, just be there for people. That can be all the difference that people need sometimes. And another thing, if people don’t tell you what is going on in their life, it doesn’t mean they don’t trust you. It could just be really personal. But just respect that, I have definitely learnt to just love other people and to be a friend.

15) To Surround Myself With People I Am Comfortable With.

So this is another big one which has only happened recently tbh. I have changed friendship group, although I am still friends with them, I no longer felt like a part of the group. They were doing things that just made me uncomfortable and different from them. I will always love them but I wanted to seat with people who were more like me. This is another piece of advice, if you don’t feel comfortable with people, no matter how much you like them, do not change yourself just to fit in. I know that I will always love my old group and obviously, we still say hi and I am still friends with them but I just feel more comfortable with others. That’s all really.

16) To Not Gossip.

Urgh, this is the one I am still working on. I have a big mouth and most of the time it isn’t on purpose. No matter how good you are, someone will come along and tell you that juicy piece of drama or gossip about someone else and you can’t help yourself but listen and join in. I have learnt this year, this is wrong and it hurts others and it gets you in situations that are better off avoided. Gossip is so bad in my opinion because if it is meant to hurt other people when you talk about them, put yourself in their shoes. I am still working on this and it is one of my weaknesses but I am trying!!

17) To Trust God.

You’ve probably got from this that I’m religious. So if you’re not religious, insert someone else or something. I just feel that there are things in my life that I need someone to help with who aren’t my friends or my family. For me, that is my God. I know that if things aren’t going the way I want them. Someone else is looking out for me.

Okkkkkkkk, so this was a long one, but I hope you guys enjoyed the 17 things I have learnt. I hope you don’t think I am some perfect person because I am still trying all of these. I can genuinely say that some of them have shaped me to be a lot wiser and mature. From the beginning of the year till now, I have learnt so much and had so many experiences that have taught me lifelong lessons and I am so grateful that I have had every single one of them. I’ll be back with another blog soon.

Peace out,

Accidental Aspirationalists xx